There are some tests that can help you to check your emotional intelligence. However, to understand what it truly means, there are some basic qualities and signs that psychologists and experts suggest you need to possess to determine if you have this quality at a high level.
1. You can show empathy toward others.
The more you’re connected with your own emotions, the better you’re able to relate to others. Emotionally intelligent people can guess how different and difficult situations might be. They can provide support accordingly instead of ignoring others’ feelings. As another sign of emotional intelligence, you care about how your actions affect other people and do your best to avoid causing hurt.
2. You watch your language.
It doesn’t mean that they don’t use bad words or curses. Emotionally intelligent people learn to be very careful and smart in their word choices and reactions.
Specialists say that these types of people never say, “I know how you feel.” They know that they can never truly understand how another person feels 100%. Instead, they keep improving their vocabulary and communication style to be sure their message will be received as they intend.
3. You’re open to change.
Not being afraid of change is also a sign of emotional intelligence. Such people have a fixed sense of self that stays constant in different circumstances. Challenges are perceived as an essential part of life and as opportunities to grow.
Of course, it’s normal for humans to instinctively resist change because our brains tend to preserve routine, but emotionally intelligent people can overcome these instincts.
Retrospection is one of the best practices in life for emotionally intelligent people. Instead of panicking, being worried if they are enough for a new job, or becoming confused, they pause.
Giving time for yourself to calm down and analyze the situation better is a wise choice that can allow you to avoid conflict. After time has passed, it’s easier to articulate clear decisions and opinions.
5. You tend to do better at work.
It turns out that emotionally intelligent people are more successful at work. This quality is crucial for both employees and managers and brings on things such as “human engineering” when you can successfully communicate, negotiate and lead. People simply prefer doing business with someone who they like and trust. Emotional intelligence helps to build reliable relationships.
6. You have an urge for progress but not for perfection.
No one is perfect, and people with high emotional intelligence truly understand this notion. You just accept yourself for who you are and your nature. Of course, it doesn’t mean that you don’t take care of yourself or grow — it’s just the opposite.
You like the progress, but there is a clear understanding that striving to be perfect all the time is not healthy. Instead of torturing yourself, you pick constant growth.
7. You express yourself assertively.
Being assertive and being aggressive are 2 different things. If you need to advocate for yourself, you do it in a respectful manner without showing anger or disgust. A sign of emotional maturity is being able to control your negative emotions.
However, this doesn’t mean that you have to hide your emotions. Rather, you show them, but in a proper and polite manner so that people around you can hear you better.
8. You’re fine with feedback.
Being emotionally developed means not just giving polite feedback to others, but being able to receive it as well. The purpose of giving feedback is to improve a situation. With an emotionally intelligentapproach, you can give a response to the person in question, so the impact will be much stronger and no one will be offended.
At the same time, you are open to constructive criticism. You accept that you may even benefit and do better with its help.
9. You have a successful marriage.
Experts say that emotional communication and economic factors play an important role in having a satisfying relationship. The better they are, the more successful the marriage is.
There is a connection between emotional intelligence and marital satisfaction. For example, when your partner gets angry, you can show empathy and self-control, so the quarrel can be resolved faster. People who are not able to manage their emotions struggle with more inner conflict.
How often do you manage to show your emotions assertively? How do you control anger?